It's been a long weekend. I drove to Philly this weekend (again), only to drive back to State College less than 18 hours after I arrived in Philly. I feel like all I do is drive places. It was a beautiful day in State College today - and I missed it. I'm really getting tired of driving all over hell and gone for these police tests. I need to get a job and just relax in the comfort of knowing what I'll be doing in the next few months.
I'm actually starting to get excited about the possibility of living in State College for a few more years. I thought I had outgrown this place, but I may be reconsidering that opinion. As a student, I'm definitely done here. But as a full-time employee, I might have a really good time. Here's to PSU PD... keepin' my fingers crossed...
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
Life is tough... it's tougher when you're stupid!
Thanks to my Sis, Emily for this!
1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue what had just happened.
3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
8. Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
9. A mother calls 911 very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid!"
1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue what had just happened.
3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
8. Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
9. A mother calls 911 very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid!"
MAC OS X frustration
Anyone know how to solve this problem: When my MacBook Pro has been idle for a while, the screensaver kicks on - no problem there. Then, after a while, the display is put to sleep. When this happens, my Aiport connection to my wireless internet is lost - thus disconnecting me from whatever network activities I had been performing while away. Is there a way to correct this problem? Many thanks.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Beat by a Jersey girl
Shannon and I played basketball at nacho night and she beat the crap out of me. I'm forever shamed to be beaten by a Jersey girl... damnit.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
a look into the future
I've got 2 classes and 4 tests remaining in my college career - studying begins tomorrow. The good news: graduation is in sight. The bad news: so is the real world! My background check at PSU Police Services is nearing completion. I haven't heard from Montgomery County, MD for a while, but that was expected. The Montgomery County, PA consortium is having their physical agility test this weekend - and again the only thing I'm worried about is the bench press. It'll be close. I need to bench 90% of my weight, which shouldn't be hard for someone like me. Unfortunately I lack the appropriate upper body strength, so it's always a stretch. Too bad they don't give out A's for effort. Hey… I wonder if getting a job in the real world will make me do the dishes/laundry/grocery shop more often… wishful thinking. Time for dinner.
Monday, April 24, 2006
street magic
David Blaine is insane. I'm sitting here at work (good old co. 20) watching David Blaine's street magic and it's pretty ridiculous. I don't believe in magic, but I do believe in excellent entertainers. Someone needs to find out how the hell he does it and then make ever more money than him by exposing his secrets to the world. Maybe that someone will be me. That's my new get-rich-quick scheme... yeah that'll work.
Friday, April 21, 2006
take it one day at a time
Just remember to take it one day at a time. Today: worry about today. You can worry about tomorrow when you get there. No sense in troubling yourself about that yet. You'll deal with it just fine when you get there - you always have in the past. And speaking of the past, leave it just where it is - in the past. Weekends off is a great idea. And always remember your friends. We're thinking about you.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Take me back to Vegas...
So this is what it looked like driving through the Arizona desert on the way to Vegas... Jealous?
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
survey says...
Check out the new Tilden.cc. It's got more content, and looks a little better. I'm still working on a sweet image for the front page though. Any suggesstions?
Thursday, April 13, 2006
ahh the new officer whackers
This makes me smile. Logistics Officer Woods in all his brand-new-officer-whacker glory. Live it up, guys. The work is worth the reward! Nice ass, Woods...
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Late night blammo
the alternative to writing this paper...***disclaimer: for anyone who cares, this is a cap gun
Euthanasia please?
Here's an e-slap for Sean Wilson. Ashleigh and I are in the HHD computer lab writing response paper #2 and again we'd like to euthanize ourselves. According to Seanny Wilson though, we don't have that right. Damn.
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