saving lives

I've been working in EMS for a little over 5 years now. I've never really "saved" a life. Until today.

I've been on a lot of calls. I've seen a lot of different things, and I know I've helped people. But I could never really pin point a time in which someone was dying and I helped make the difference between life and death. Today that changed, albeit unfortunately. Today I was on a BLS crew who saved a 79 year old woman from cardiac arrest. We got there and she was dead. When we left her in the ER, she was breathing on her own without assistance. Unfortunately, this was not her wish. Shortly after we shocked her with the AED twice, the nursing home staff informed us she had a valid DNR. At this time, she was already attempting to breath on her own, and her heart rate was strong and steady. It felt really strange. I wanted to be proud of my first save, but I can't be with this one. I don't feel bad for what I did, everyone knows we were only acting on the information we had at the time. So I have no feelings of remorse or regret. I just wish I could feel good about the save. There's a good chance I'll never be on another call like this when the person is dead when you arrive and alive when you leave. I was hoping it'd be more fulfilling.

Oh well. At least I'm pulling a double and working tonight at the U. Great.

moments that take your breath away, for better or for worse

Some people believe in fate. I don't. I really believe that everything in life has a purpose, but I don't agree that every little thing that happens to you - or even yet every little decision you make - is pre-scripted and set in stone before it occurs. I liken God to a Dealer in a casino. He sure as hell controls the game, but the deck isn't fixed and he has no stake in your fortune. Life is pretty similar to gambling: if you make a crappy decision, you're going to lose. The Dealer didn't make you choose poorly, you made your own choices. Furthermore the Dealer usually doesn't mind when you win, in fact it makes His job more enjoyable when He's got a table full of winners. And most importantly, just like any gamble - because every day, life really is a gamble - sometimes no matter what you do, and no matter how much the Dealer really wants you to win, you get dealt a shitty hand with which you just can't win. That's life.

I'm praying for a friend today, and these were the thoughts that came to me. I'm really sorry, my friend.

Archeological discovery

An archeological team, digging in Washington, D.C., has uncovered 10,000-year-old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Politician.

blogging with YouTube

So this video isn't too great, but it's the first of what should be many YouTube videos shared on blogger. In this video, Sean and I had a punching contest. I forget who won, but this machine is pretty cool. Actually I think Sean won. But the next day his hands were bloody and his wrist was hurting. Seeing as how I didn't injure myself, I guess we both won in our own way. Enjoy.

Rest in peace, Barbaro

Philly takes another hit. First the Eagles lost, now Barbaro is euthenized. For all of your fans out there who were pulling for you, I hope you can rest peacefully, big guy.

This is how I think he should be remembered.

camp it up

Last weekend was adventure #1 into camping for dummies. Laura and I went down to 84 and camped out in the woods on her Uncle's property. We did pretty well. We made a fire, cooked food, drank booze, went swimming, and got to drive a sweet quad. And the tent we pitched actually kept us dry in a downpour. It was a lot of fun. So much so that we might actually travel farther next time and camp on our own. This time was like training wheels. Check out the camp site:

It looked a little less impressive in the morning:


Hopefully in the midst of police academy and paramedic school, we'll find some time to take our equipment out into the woods a little farther and loose the quad. Maybe to a lake somewhere. All for now.

cigarettes

What is it about cigarettes that makes people think they aren't litter? Have you noticed this? Ever seen someone walking or driving throw their cigarette butt anywhere they please? This bothers the hell out of me. Most people won't just throw garbage out into the streets, but for some strange reason cigarettes have been placed into a category of their own in which they are considered non-litter. Do smokers really think throwing their used cancer sticks all over god's creation is any less offensive than any other type of littering? I can't tell you how many arrogant smokers I see on a daily basis flick their trash onto the streets. It's sad that we've taught them that this is ok. Next time you see someone do this, I hope you'll do what I do - slap them on the back of the head and tell the moron to pick up their trash.